II. How does social support and Openness work in order to lower anxiety?

Having a supportive network is vital to your wellbeing, whether it is for your own anxiety or that of a friend’s, family member, a partner, or someone else.

As social beings, we can benefit from social support in a number of ways through:

• a network of support which can provide emotional, physical and financial support in good AND bad times；
• our friends, family members, and loved ones who can be a source of advice and mentoring.

Social support can be a buffer for negative emotions, events and stress from even positive events. We sometimes can forget that a new relationship, a job, or starting school can cause stress. It is not just from being laid off work, relationship break-ups or bad test grades that can lead to stress and anxiety. Many parts of our lives can create anxiety and that is why it is important to have a network that can provide support to cover different situations.

We usually get support from the people closest to us e.g. our partner, family members, and colleagues. If you do not find the support you need from them or you do not have these people in your life, there are other alternatives to help you deal with your anxiety concerns: 

• firstly, social support from professionals can be more successful as they help you to better plan and execute your anxiety treatments； and
• secondly, social support from self-help groups can help you make connections, improve how you cope with your anxiety, motivate and advise you to get the right treatment, (particularly when you first started to deal with anxiety).

If you are a carer for people with anxiety, there are different types of support groups you can turn to for help:

• by talking to professionals to learn more about their symptoms and how best to support them constructively during their treatment.
• You too, from other carers that you can relate to.

These types of support groups will help to add clarity and understanding for the carer, which can help reduce the stress from looking after another person. The less stress a carer has, the more positive outlook is nurtured, and the better the care.

Sometimes, we have many people in our lives that may actually be a source of anxiety, or are not providing the support we need. Assertiveness training can help you find the people who actually are supportive and identify those who are not. When you form a network of supportive people around you, you can rely on them for emotional and physical wellbeing as well as advisory help.

You should also reciprocate the help and support you receive. In fact, being helpful to others can foster general wellbeing at a higher level than by simply receiving support. Being a help to others can have its own limitations because if you are “bent on” helping, this can cause stress and anxiety as well.

In the end, it is vital that you have the right people around you who will support you to help reduce your stress and lower anxiety symptoms. By being proactive in seeking social support, the chances to find the support you need are greatly increased. 

About Shyness and Social Anxiety

Some of us are naturally shy or introverted and prefer to be private. If you are shy, it may be more difficult for you to be sociable even though you may still have the desire to be around people.

It may be a type of anxiety if you find it difficult to open up to others. If you have social anxiety disorder or social phobia, you may feel an extreme fear of humiliation, criticism, or embarrassment. This may be caused by your low self-esteem or an inferiority complex. These feelings are more than just shyness. They can affect your ability to work, to study, or to take part in social activities. They may cause anxiety and panic symptoms as well. People who have social phobias or anxieties may experience the natural “fight or flight” stress response in social situations that are not supposed to be stressful. 

Unlike other phobias that have a clear source of fear (e.g. spiders), social phobia may have been acquired from past social experiences, problems with people you know, or stress that comes from a particular social event.

However, the negative effects of social phobia or shyness can be treated by addressing the anxieties first before building a social network. Reducing your social concerns and fear of embarrassment can then improve the chances of a successful anxiety treatment.  If you experience shyness or social anxiety, please see the lessons on Cognitive Therapy and Behavioural Therapy exercises.  If you are caring for someone with social phobia or anxiety, you can still be an important part of their treatment and social network by learning about these exercises.

Opening Yourself to Accept Social Support

There may be many different ways for you to get social support, but your willingness to accept social support is key. Even if you are not shy and have not been diagnosed with social anxiety, it may still be hard for you to accept that you may need help. There are ways you can prepare yourself to be open to social support, for example:

• say yes to a new support group； or
• take an art class and meet people who share your passion for painting； or
• join a sports team.